Colorado College Bulletin

Coming Full Circle

By LOUIS PANCHO McFARLAND ‘91

August 1987 

As a 17-year-old from Ratón, a small town in northern New Mexico, I came to Colorado College alone and a bit frightened. I was awestruck as I walked into Slocum Hall for the first time. I had no idea how different two worlds could be: Ratón, a mostly Mexican American working-class town, and Slocum Hall, a mostly Anglo-American, upper-middle class dormitory. By the time I finished my first class, “Introduction to Psychology,” I was aware of not only the race and class differences at CC but also the differences in preparedness for college. At my schools, the teachers tried their best under poor circumstances with few resources. Nothing fancy, just the basics. I soon heard the names Freud, Marx and Nietzsche from my well-educated colleagues at CC. “Marx who?,” I asked myself.

Spring 1988

In one semester I learned about college life. I went to parties, listened to the Grateful Dead and began to figure out how studying hard would help me succeed in college. My second semester I took a course, “Chicanos in American Society,” and felt able to express myself more freely. For once I had the advantage. The first day of class our professor, Gloria Cuadraz, gave us a “Barrio IQ Test.” I answered the most questions correctly. Professor Cuadraz said the test demonstrated how the notion of intelligence was subjective and contextual. Intelligence was not simply a rigid concept that could be measured by SAT scores. Those of us from traditional Mexican American neighborhoods, barrios, had our own brand of intelligence, wisdom and maturity that, while necessary and valuable, was often devalued in academic, popular and other arenas. I took this lesson to heart and began to reassess my talents. Thanks, Professor Cuadraz.

Even after taking this course, finding an intellectual home in the sociology department and a mentor in Professor Devon Peña, I still felt a bit alien. I had few friends and spent most of my time reading. Every weekend I would travel 150 miles south on Interstate 25 to visit my family and friends and soak up enough of my culture to make it through the week.

Fall 1988

In my sophomore year I had good friends to go out with. I finally found out who Marx was after taking a course from Professor Bob Dunne. A friend of mine who majored in philosophy mentioned Nietzsche once in awhile. My home away from home in the sociology department was an intellectually nurturing place. I took courses that offered me insight into human nature: Social psychology, race relations, deviance and sociological theory helped me to get a better grasp on humanity and, more important, on myself.

Fall 1989

I found myself in the middle of the largest city in the world, Mexico City. On block break from my courses in Guanajuato, Mexico, I explored the amazing culture and history of Mexico. I had never been in a big city, save for trips to Chicago to see the Cubs play when I was about 6 and to Disneyland when I was 8.

I always knew somehow that I was Mexican. My visit to Mexico through the CC Spanish department helped me understand and come to terms with my Mexican-ness. I learned what all the symbols in my family’s houses meant and rethought the stories my grandfather told me. I fell in love with learning after I learned that I could learn about myself.

Spring 1990 

Unfortunately, my trip to Mexico was cut short. I contracted hepatitis and was sent home early. But my trip gave me a new lease on life. When I returned to the CC campus in January 1990, I vowed to seek out more knowledge about things Mexican. This led me to MEChA, a Chicano student group on campus. I finally found people who had similar experiences and anxieties. We spoke the same language and listened to the same music. I soon became a regular at these meetings and was able to assert myself in ways that I had never attempted before. Through my association with the Mechistas (MEChA members) and Rochelle Mason of the Office of Minority Student Life, I began to interact intellectually, socially and politically with other students of color on campus. We developed a strong coalition and supported each other. We looked out for each other. We helped each other get through our last two years of college. The Mechistas and other students of color were my salvation. I no longer had to travel to Ratón every weekend. I found community here. Thanks, Mechistas.

August 1999 - May 2000

I returned to CC and my home away from home in the sociology department, this time as a visiting instructor for the year. I replaced my old mentor, Devon Peña, who now teaches at the University of Washington. What a wonderful experience to have my education come full circle. I see many of my former professors who continue to teach me; however, this time we were on the same side of the desk, and I am learning from them as a colleague.  

August 2000

I sit in my office at the Hulbert Center for Southwest Studies writing about my educational life coming full circle. I was fortunate to stay on another year at CC through the Riley-Scholar-in-Residence program. This program, named after Gresham Riley, CC’s president from 1981-1992, hires minority scholars to teach two or three courses while they work on their dissertation or post-doctoral research. After my year ended in the sociology department, I moved to the Southwest Studies department. Here, I will help the Southwest Studies department and Director Vicki Levine add a new component to their curriculum: extended-format courses that focus on community and service learning. CC students will go into the Colorado Springs community and participate in a local, grassroots organization designed to assist Mexican American youth. Students will benefit by putting the knowledge they have gained at CC into a “real world” context. They will be able to test out the theories they have learned in classes on race relations, organizations, inequality, and group interaction while gaining invaluable experience working with gifted young people who, for numerous economic, political and social reasons, are disadvantaged in our public school systems. As a result of this curricular change, a new generation of Mexican Americans might attend CC. And unlike me at 17 and 18, they will know who Karl Marx was.

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