Writing Center - Colorado College

 

Personal Statement Tips:

How Do I Make It Personal?

Exploring Your Depths: Who am I?

• Find something you are truly excited or passionate about -- and focus on it.
• Look inside yourself and discover what it is that makes you unique, that defines your life or who you are.
• What do you do that makes time stand still, that pulls you outside of time because you feel so content in that moment? Try to understand why you feel this way. What does this say about you?
• Look at your life -- play it like a movie in your mind -- how does it go? What are its themes? What have you learned from it? Where does the plot change? Who are you now as opposed to who you were then? And why does this matter?
• Be totally honest with yourself, as difficult as this may be, and devote some time to the task of self-discernment, even over the course of several days.
• Find that which links your different life-experiences and abilities together into one congruent whole, the underlying you.
• Reflect on your values and your purpose in this life.
• You've got to learn truly who you are before you can effectively give that knowledge to others in your personal statement.

Expressing Your Depths: What do I say?

• Capture your light in your words.
• Be positive and honest, focusing on the valuable, significant aspects of who you are -- highlighting, but not exaggerating, the good in you.
• Describe yourself thoughtfully and creatively: write something you and others would enjoy reading.
  To help your statement flow, avoid beginning every sentence with "I" even though you're talking about yourself. See Example.
• Use your own voice with precise, in-depth, and creative descriptions of yourself, your life, and your abilities.
• Avoid lists of vague traits or adjectives that really don't mean very much and which many other candidates could also claim to have. See Example.
• Consider your audience when deciding how casual to make your language, but remember, this is your introduction to yourself, not an analytical essay. See Example.
• Be open and self-revealing, but don't say anything that you would not feel comfortable discussing in an interview.
• Don't be afraid to focus in on one specific aspect of yourself or your life that you find most fascinating, important, or revealing.
• One developed, insightful example can often be more impressive than a long, unspecific list of examples.
• Ensnare your personality in the words you write, and bring out the value and goodness that it includes.
  

Connecting Your Depths: How do I fit?

• Remember whoever reads your statements is probably reading many more than yours -- it is important that yours stand out as memorable, interesting, and impressive.
• Follow directions -- make sure to answer the questions they asked for on the application.
• Draw connections -- relate who you are to who they are, and make it clear why the two of you are such a good match.
• Learn about the program or position you are applying for and the organization that is offering it, and subtly incorporate this knowledge into your statement.
• Relate your goals to theirs, remembering always to be honest, and relate your abilities and experiences to the position you're hoping for.
• Tear away the veil of surface-level qualifications, and tell them something that they can't learn from your resume or transcript.
• Demonstrate clearly how who you are fits into their purpose -- display yourself in their light.
• Don't however argue for your right to have the spot or express yourself over-confidently or arrogantly.
• It's a delicate balance between being positive about yourself and showing how you fit, and being self-righteous -- illustrate how you are right for the position, but don't tell them that you are. See Example.
• And in spite of all that you must include and accomplish in writing your statement, be concise, and thereby be remembered with thankful hearts. See Example.

Getting Feedback: Is it any good?

• Ask your friends, your family, your roommate (and anyone you can get) to read your personal statement -- usually the more opinions you get the better.
• Ask your readers some specific questions like: What did you perceive to be my main point? Were any parts of it at all unclear? What impression would you have of me if you only knew my be this statement?
• You might have to ask them several times to be honest with you before they'll say more than "It's good" or "I like it."
• In addition to people who already know and like you, ask some unbiased readers for feedback, people you don't really know.
• Go to the Writing Center; go to the Career Center; go to your advisor.
• The goal is to get the most objective view of your statement possible before sending it in to a possibly unforgiving selection committee.

Summary:
The personal statement is your chance to introduce yourself and show why you are the perfect candidate.

1. Find out who you are.
2. Describe who you are.
3. Illustrate why you are right for the position.

It's as difficult as 1, 2, 3 . . . so take some time, get feedback from others, and feel free to come into the Writing Center for help and support!

See Links to Other Personal Statement Websites.

Common Struggles with Personal Statements:

Avoiding the "I" Problem

Beginning every sentence with "I" can be distracting and disturb the flow of your writing:

• I served as vice president of the student government. I managed a committee and organized student events as part of this position. I learned some valuable leadership skills as vice president. I hope I can continue to use these skills in the future.

It helps to vary the length of your sentences and use more complex constructions. Try something like this:

• Last year, I served as vice president of the student government. By managing a committee and organizing student events, I learned some valuable skills that could help me succeed in my future leadership responsibilities.

Go Back.

Writing Meaningful Descriptions

Instead of listing vague adjectives:

• I am creative, intelligent, considerate, and diligent.

Pick one trait that you would most like to emphasize and explain it in context. Try something like this:

• As a mentor, I had to develop a new activity for the kids each week. It was not long before my creativity really began to shine. We did art projects, made dioramas, acted out skits, took fieldtrips, and even created PowerPoint presentations. Coming up with something new each week was often challenging, but it taught me to trust my imagination. I see now that we live in a world of endless possibilities.

Go Back.

Using the Appropriate Level of Language

These sentences are probably too casual:

• I went snowboarding like every weekend, and it was totally awesome.
  
  
• So me and my buddies decided to take calculus after all.

These sentences are probably too formal:

• Notwithstanding those few weekends which I spent in scholastic pursuits, I would typically
  venture to the mountains to enjoy the pleasures of snowboarding.
  
  
• My close acquaintances and I deliberated for some time about which mathematics course
  would most suit our abilities, and we ultimately decided to enroll in calculus.

It's best to find a middle ground that reveals your personality but shows some restraint-a voice that sounds natural and professional. Try something like this:

• On the weekends, I would often take my snowboard and escape to the mountains for some simple, stress-relieving fun.
  
  
• My friends and I decided that we should take calculus, even though it could be challenging.

Go Back.

Being Concise

These sentences are overly wordy:

• Being that it was time to decide on a major, I pondered and pondered, considering all my options, and I finally concluded, with the help of my friends and mentors, that Political Science was the right major for me.
  
  
• I spent several hours doing community service in a local soup kitchen to help feed the poor and the hungry as much as I possibly could.

For the sake of clarity, cut the unnecessary words. Try something like this:

• With the help of my friends and mentors, I made the difficult decision to become a Political Science major.
  
• I spent several hours working in a local soup kitchen.

Go Back.

Expressing Confidence with Humility

This sentence is probably too arrogant:

• All of my qualifications make me the perfect candidate for the job; no one else could be better.

This sentence is probably too bashful:

• It is possible that what I have done and experienced could have prepared me for this position, but I would not want to say that I am the right person for the job, just that I could probably perform it pretty well.

Instead of over- or understating yourself, tactfully demonstrate specifically what you have to offer. Try something like this:

• My experience in the Peace Corps gave me a passion for helping those in need, and my EMT training has given me the skills to do so. I would love the opportunity to work in your clinic.

Go Back.

A Sample Personal Statement:

Some Helpful Links:
Berkeley's Page
Indiana's Page
Purdue's Page
Colgate's Page

_______

Written by: Andrew Prevot

Special thanks to Beth Brooks of the President's Office, Walt Hecox of the Economics Department, and Matt Birnbaum of the Career Center for their wisdom and expertise concerning personal statements.

Go to Top.